It exists in my life a few days in that I listen the joy of heart in my prayers and that something special which is the chatter of penitence. God gives to the orthodox Christians to listen how springs up into them the water of Holy Ghost and how much love is in the mercy of our Lord. Many people do not understand what is that inner joy because they refuse to believe in mercy of Triune God and in the power of our Creator, namely in uncreated grace.
And my music, hidden music of my soul is exactly this harmony of grace, which entered very deeply in me from Baptism. Holies Sacraments of Baptism and Eucharist are felt in specially mode by many orthodox people. And day by day is a continue music for me because as the priest I have many glees, many mirths of heart. And my happiness is not something ephemeral disposition of heart but a very firm feeling, that I receive living a profound calmness.
The calmness and the glee are together and they call each other, because the calmness of heart is a door for the glee and the glee, this blaze of grace in our body, is that who ends in calmness, in silence of all our thoughts. My music is between the beauty of prayers and the grace of God, between the eddy of love for my Christ and His presence in my soul, between the eyes with whom I watch all my brethrens and the eyes by whom I am regarded.
The work with people is not heavy when they are with all soul and body in penitence, in this continue thinking of death and when they have the thought transfixed into their heart. It is not heavy to work with such people but they are very few in our days. The priest have in his cotidian laboratory, this is the Church, usually, only hurried men, frequently very affected by their bad choices and very alone.
I must do what I have to do as a priest and I must preserve my divine music in heart and my silence. Some times I am too corrupt because of their nervosity and I enter in their life in integrum. But, in this moment, I am not afraid that I might loose my silence, because in that measure in which I make them calm and myself too. The peace of grace of Holy Ghost pacifies us in definitive and every one of us is a winner, because we have in us a melody of God, that do not pass.
Father Dorin Octavian Picioruș.