Fragrance (novel) [46]
Pr. Dr. Dorin Octavian Picioruș
Fragrance
(novel)
*
The female agent from Buhuși has an art critic sister, who knows how to get into a gloom, into a frown, to make you believe that any nonsense is a masterpiece. When the painter Curcubel did a live at Mamco, unsere kunst[1] was there, talking, saw the air, with a stridently red muzzle, and explaining to us how Dacrina wanted to transport us into her self, if we are fed up with our own, so that we can feel the femininity at her home, in her very marrow and blood. Because these traces of menstrual blood, thrown over the pile of wood, consisting of 28 in number[2], always mean a new beginning, a new need for sexual libertinism, you, before asking him anything, showing him that you are capable of everything he wants. And you felt included in the excitation, in the need to be there, with that woman, and drag her into a corner, because it doesn’t matter what Dacrina’s wood says, only what it suggests to us la nostra arte[3].
Just as Schiele, easily caricatured by Ghenie, was reconstructed in the air, like the levant in writing. Oh, the imposture blinds you!, said one commentator. While another, more timid, used only one word: vomitive. And the little girl vomited several times on the bus, her mother holding the bag to her mouth and apologizing for the smell. Although, a medical student would have been interested in the composition of the child’s vomit, to see what the child was actually suffering from, that no vomiting is accidental, and a joker, to make another joke, would have said that that child with black curls, about 7-8 years old, would have been, rather, a sweetheart, one in her 30s, and who, because she had eaten indigestively, made a delightful map of the smell. What you can excuse for excitation, you cannot excuse for the child.
Because your problem, Gogule, yes, yours, is that you think that the orgasm is big tool on bascule, that it’s everything. But, when you get to my age, Gogule, you’ll see that you no longer see excitation, but only women, and those with all their flaws, which you no longer see now, because you want to dominate them. If you were lucid, you would not immediately throw yourself on her breasts, on her ass, you wouldn’t jump into bed thinking about her, because you would see a lot of details, which women know, hide, are ashamed of, but you do not see. And, yes, you will see them too, when you calm down!…And when you see them, then the woman will no longer be edulcorated by your passion, but as she is, with her good and bad. But, for many like you, that will happen too late. What can you do with lucidity at 60, when you need it at 12? This too early of excitation is a social manipulation, it is the alienation of the young man from his role as the master of the house, it is the deviation of the young girl’s path from the road to her own family, and they no longer meet to make holiness in themselves, but to forget about themselves and their responsibilities.
Yes, I feel the mocking smile of the one who perceives every truth of mine as a sermon. Because he believes that preaching is brainwashing, that it is manipulation, and that, after all, I am not writing a novel, but preaching. When any manipulation is a sermon, but a subversive, inverse one. For example, the need for plurality, for multipartitism, is considered inherent to democracy. But in the great democracy of the moment, two parties are enough and not many parties. Because more parties in power means no common vision. Therefore, voting for many parties means not voting for a sustainable plan. Because it is necessary to put a single idea into practice. And the consumism is the way of being of capitalism. But the range of products is not really diversified. You don’t find ten kinds of cheese in a supermarket, but 8 almost the same and two different ones. Therefore, to consume is the normality in principle, but, in fact, the abnormal thing is that the tomato on the shelf is not the normal tomato, nor the bread, nor the milk, and so on, and you go home with things that seem „good”, bought at a high, unjustifiably high price, to pretend to eat. Because the manipulation is our pretense that we’re eating, that we’re feeling good, that everything is fine, when everything is mixed up. Because, if it were fine, we would all be happy, fulfilled, we would have real relationships with each other, we would be very grateful people for what we have and do, because that is how it is when all things are real. But, like at the circus, when the magicians make you believe that crazy things are the best, to smile sourly, to live without the will to live does not mean „good”, no, it never means „good”.
[1] our art.
[2] Cf. https://www.reginamaria.ro/articole-medicale/ciclul-menstrual-de-la-menstruatie-la-ovulatie-detalii-pe-care-nu-le-cunosti.
[3] our art.